its_me_katie's Xanga

w.i.n.w.w.a.e. list

Thu, 26 Nov 2009 05:40:05 GMT

I firmly believe in the quote "someday, someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked with anyone else". It's probably some cheesy quote thought up by a teenager with myspace but it's definately something I think about alot. So here is my "why it never worked out with any else" list. (Yeah, I'm notorious for this; I have terrible luck with boys!)

C. We were in middle school and he cheated on me. He made his new "girlfriend from church" IM me telling me he hated me. Awesome!
Z. Because it was too complicated.
R. Because he went to a different school.
S. Because he said I had a small chest.
Z. Because he perferred goth girls.
R. Because I wasn't interested.
H. Because I didn't believe in premarital sex. No joke, he actually told my best friend he no longer found me attractive because I believed in that.
G. Because he was so weird. But we liked eachother :-/
B. Because he was horny 24/7 and lived in another state.
C. Because he was also horny 24/7 and lived in another state.
A. Because I wasn't interested. And when I was, he moved on.
S. Because I was too shy to tell him I liked him back.
S. Because we weren't the same ethnicity.
J. Because he always stared at my boobs. And continued even when I put my jacket on.
J. Because he only liked hugging me. But not talking to me.
T. Because my friend liked him alot. And we weren't allowed to go out.
M. Because I was too young.
K. Because it just didn't.
J. Because he believed in bros over hoes.

So that's my "w.i.n.w.w.a.e. list". You guys should all post yours so we can mope about how much people are missing out on!!1!11!!! Just kidding. We'll probably end the night complaining about how much acne we have and eating tons of ice cream. Sounds good to me!

pet peeves

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 04:01:30 GMT

Talk shows and commercials on the radio. Basically anything that ISN'T music. I'm down with listening to classical music and even the cheesiest country hits. But if a commercial comes on, it's game over.
People who don't smile. UGH!!!!! How hard is it not to return a smile? I am a very naturally smiley person and I smile to literally everyone I make eye contact with, even at the mall. Well, it could be alot worse. I heard that if you do random-smiling in New York, people think you're up to no good. The south is generally a friendlier place so for that I'm thankful.
pizza that isn't cheesy enough. If the sauce content > cheese content, then it's probably gross. Definition of pizza at cheap buffet places.
people who get song lyrics wrong! Today I was sitting with Oscar during lunch and he kept on singing "blackbird singing in the middle of the niiiiight! take these broken things and learn to fly" It made me so angry (Btw, it's the "dead" of night and broken "wings"). But then again, I was the girl that accidently belted out, "YOU BELONG TO MEEEEEE" (it's "with" me)
asian places that serve chicken nuggets. There's this one place in Cedar Park that white people loooooove *. Basically, when I went in, I thought I'd like it too. The menu seriously has like fifty different types of chicken. Lemon chicken.... orange chicken.... sweet and sour chicken..... kung pao chicken.... every type of white washed chicken-meal availiable. There were even asian people working there! When the order comes... it's basically chicken nuggets with a cup of lemon/orange/s&s sauce. It was the saddest thing in my life. The menu should advertise their fifty types of nasty thick artificial concoctions over chicken nuggets. And you fellow asians, how can you live this LIE of making disgraceful food articles? How do you go to sleep at night?!
People who HAVE to eat off campus everyday. Theres this girl who always asks me if I can take her off to eat lunch literally every day. JUST BECAUSE we're seniors dosen't mean we have to eat off every day. Suddenly the cafeteria is so terrible? And there's this OTHER girl who always want to go off with me. But here's the kicker. She NEVER has money. So whenever we go off, first of all, it's me driving. Secondly, it's me paying (and saying she'd pay back a week later). Why would you want to go off campus to eat lunch if you don't have money in the first place. And here's could-this-get-any-most-lame part- she's a junior! So not only do I have a chance of getting in trouble, I have to drive and pay for your meal. Great.**
People who ALWAYS ask for your food. I have several friends who I fear eating in front of. That's because they ALWAYS ask for a piece of part of what I'm eating. Always. Even if it's like, soup that my mom made me cause I'm sick, they'll still want it. Pretty sure all of them has even asked for a sip of my drink several times. It really bothers me! And then when I offer them things, I don't feel any gratification. What is this - doing a good deed and you can't even feel good about it?! They're just going to want your food reguardless, why would I spur the asking by offering it? Secondly, what's so bad about buying your own? The vending machine is twenty feet away. But then agian, I'm guilty of doing this too. *** CAN WE ALL PLEASE LEARN TO EAT OUR OWN FOOD?
People who ask me what the homework is through the text. I'm always really appalled when I get these texts. First of all, ALL THE HOMEWORK IS POSTED ONLINE. Every single one of our teachers have a "teacherweb" and they post the homework even before it's assigned. Secondly, do you realize how long it takes to type "page 564 7,9,12,13,14, 16-25 omit 19, 30-70 every other odd"?!?!?!! And lastly, are you not going to start the homework until I text it to you? What if I don't reply? **** Are you not going to do your homework? JEEZE!
Lack of manners. Everytime I see someone that dosen't hold a door open or someone who dosen't say thank you I want to blow their brains out.

* Hot Wok Cafe. And Firebowl Cafe in Austin. There were threse guys I knew from work who would eat there literally every day before work. They'd always be, "GUESS WHAT I ATE BEFORE WORK!!!". And after our thirty minute lunch breaks - "GUESS WHERE I WENT TO LUNCH?!" Oh, I don't know, HOT WOK?
** Anoter kicker? Once they asked to go off. When we arrived at Quizno's, three girls said they weren't hungry. What the fuck!!!! Then why did you want me to drive you here!!! I could be doing homework in the library!!!! And as fate has it, I felt so guilty eating my 2-sandwiches-for-5-dollars that I just offered one to them. Of course these bitches devoured it.
*** Most days, when someone asks I think it is a sign from God. If they're asking for food, I believe it's a sign from above reminding me to watch my weight. I don't think I've neglected giving someone food even once in my life... because I think it's really true and God is testing me.
**** Usually I respond with a photo of my butt.

Yeah, I know all my pet peeves has something to do with food. Oops.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 04:04:39 GMT

Dang, I haven't written anything on this in about a week. And no "real" posts in like... two months. These days I'm just too tired and I have no time for ANYTHING. All my time is spent at school, hating school, or bitching about school. Oops. Then I got the massive amounts of homework, plus all the other shenanagins I've been putting my time into.... art contests (I'll post them here later!), volunteering, church stuff, and countless other things.... I don't even have time to hang out with my friends. When I'm not doing busy work, I'm at school -___-. Yesterday, I thought I'd have to pull an allnighter, but I went to bed at 5 (with tons of work left to do). I don't like this!

Part of what makes this allllll okay is:

1. I LOVE being busy. I love having things to do and places to go.... I'm glad I can never complain that I spent the evening watching CSI reruns or something stupid like that because I'm bussssyyyy!

2. I got accepted to Texas Christian University! That was one of my top choices. Also, I got a 40K scholarship to Baylor University. Oh, and idk if I mentioned it here, but I got into Auburn, too! That was my top choice too :) It's so awesome that everything is just falling into place.... So amazing. God really does pull through and makes things twist into something you cannot imagine. Like, getting into most of the colleges I applied to! Just three months ago I didn't think any of this was possible. I thought that I'd only be accepted to like, two schools, so I applied for so many.

3. I am now the coordinator (not just a teacher) of the 3 and 4 year old sunday school!!!! I'm seriously really honored and sooooooo pumped. I will not mess this up, it's too darn exciting. Now I get to teach every week and even boss people around.... ha. But I'm just so excited to go back to children's ministry :D

4. Project 365 ended on November 13th! As usual, I had no time to actually take a photo on that date. And I haven't posted anything on that date either. Lol. Ovbiously I didn't take this project very seriously....

The reason I started p365 was actually... to document my relationship with my boyfriend, Kevin at that time. We had been together for two years and this project was suposed to be comprised of photos of us through yet another year. The first few photos in this project were of us (hanging out at the mall, etc.)... but it slowly changed. The year progressed and photos were of other things, not just us, like I had previously planned (not like we can take a photo every day reguardless! Bwahaha).

So I read about the project sometime in september and thought, hey, this'll be fun! I could incorperate photoshop and other elements into it. Even post some artworks as my photo-of-the-day. I decided eventually to start on november 13th because then this project would have a "purpose". Anyway, after the first two weeks I was mistaken; no way I could ever have the time to take a photo SIMPLY for the project purpose. So the entire year was me catching up on photos weeks later, pretending I took that specific photo on that day, when really, I hadn't touched my camera in weeks. Hahaha, oh well. I'm not too upset, I don't really... care >__>. Note to self: don't do this project again. I'm not creative enough for a billion self portraits so... yeah. Taking photos is fun but not every day for a "project". Yuck. In the middle of the year, however, I finally upgraded to a DSLR camera and it was awesome :) I guess my "photography skill" remained the same, but again, I don't really care. I never took this project or photography in general seriously and only continued on because I'm not one of those people who give up easily, even if it's a dumb cause. Also cause I'm too damn prideful. Like the one time I ordered durian smoothie at a restaurant even though both my parents told me not to. I took that sucker home and drank sips of it over the course of three days.... Yeah moving on.

As you may already know, I broke up with Kevin in the middle of the summer. I've even writtein college essays about out relationship and posted them here on xanga about it, if you're interested, you can read them here. But even before then, this project dwindled to other topics.... While I still posted tons of pictures of Kevin and I, in was mixed with photos of my family, my best friends, cool stuff I've done. I'll admit that the time we've been together wasn't the best. Like my essays say, I was a monster. Even I wasn't cool with myself. But I'll also say that I'd definately wouldn't be here without the relationship. This project had become more of a self-realization journey then one to document our relationship. And I was fine with that. I guess what I'm trying to say is that while I never took this project seriously - it still meant alot to me. This project wasn't about us - it started to become about me. And other people who made me, me. This november 13th, I wasn't thinking about Kevin. Heck, I didn't even remember it was a special date until just then, lololol. Now as things have it, he's a total loser. He got in trouble for selling drugs and there's a huge chance he can't even graduate this year. He's ran away from home or as he puts it , "hangs out with his friends without telling his parents" and they frantically call me, asking if I have a clue where he is. He hasn't applied anywhere and he just plans on renting out an apartment and partying every day. It's weird to see... that I can't even respect this guy anymore. I used to think he was my world! And now... we couldn't be any more opposite. But honestly, I don't even think about this very much. After breaking up with him, I strived to become more and more independent. I went on alot of dates after that (they all were just fun). I made alot of new friends. This year, I finally got a car! I made it to senior year. I had an amazing birthday. I went on more family trips. I've begun to appreciate my family more. Oh this is random but last night, I felt really sick after volunterring in the cold for a seven hour football game, and came home to my room, which was all clean because my sisters felt like cleaning it for me :D and my mom who made my two favorite things. My dad helped me out big time on a lab report I've been stressing out on for a long time. I know this is kind of trivial - but this year I've defintely fell more in love with these amazing people. This year, I got my first job, quit my first job, I failed my first class. I got paid to take photos, attended more school-sponsored events than ever, and experienced more of Austin than I ever have. I got new best friends, I lost best friends. I finally found my music taste! I think I experienced the closest thing to "romantic love". I also experienced the most defintely, for-sure means of "God's Love" (which by the way is amazing and has no bounds) during late night prayer meetings. But above all, I finally discovered what was most important and who really matters.

And that is why I'm going to conclude this entry, my mock "november 13th entry" with a picture of my best friend, Ali. (oh and me! I'm in here too!)

This girl is sooooooo cool. She was one of the first friends I made at WW. She is so amazing and has stuck by me through thick and thin, even if I didn't do the same (which I havne't, because I'm full of fail and undeserving of this awesome chica). And if there's anything she's taught me - it's that boys are stupid and lame. Your friends are the ones who shape you. There really isn't any replacement for a friendship on earth than with your best best friends.

Ali Diaz-Tello is my best best friend!

movies i'm really excited for!

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 20:12:03 GMT

Even Ali, who can't stand Leonardo DiCaprio agrees this looks awesome! Is it a based off a book?

This looks soooooooooooo good. I am most excited for this movie! Natalie Portman, Jake Gyladkfgadf, and Tobey McGuire?! If it dosen't rock I don't know what will.

There were other movies I was interested in but it's slipped out of my mind for the moment. What movies are YOU most excited for?

KATIE IS THE ASSHOLE OF THE DAY

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 00:44:08 GMT

Once Sherry asked me if I'd like to meet myself.

My answer? HELL NO. I am loud, I am annoying, I am stupid, I am naive, I am oblivious, I am shallow, I am rude, I am clumsy, I am fat, I am so many other things. I would not be friends with anyone like me.

Today is one of the main reasons why I can't even tolerate myself, much less others tolerate me.

My first block is government. Usually nobody pays attention and we just talk the whole block. Except we had a substitute and you know how it goes - if it's a blow off class, it will be rowdy x10. It's the same thing as with the teacher, except with more cuss words and leaving class, probably. Wrong. The substitute started talking and apparently, we were suposed to listen. Everyone shushed except for me. I guess I didn't get the memo and I was the only one talking. Big deal?

The sub just stares at me. I realized everoyne else was staring at me too. Crap. I stop talking (ovbiously) and just smile at him.

"Please continue," he said.
"Excuse me?"
"What you have to say is probably more important than what I have to say."
"Um, no sir. It's not."
"Well, I want to hear it."
"Uh, I'm done."
"Are you sure?"

It just goes on for thirty more seconds of rediculious question asking. I felt sooooooooo gay for accidently talking. Fuck. Something that could have been resolved in three seconds (aka him moving on) went on for two minutes. I was thoroughly humiliated. He kept on bringing up how disrespectful seniors are and then looking at me.

Thanks, asshole. But it really sucked to have a day start out like that.

Last night, I accidently told Kevin that today was late start. I forgot to tell him that it actually wasn't. So he was late to school and just decided to skip first block all together. I felt so so so dumb. He was pissed of course.

Later, I said the world's stupidest thing. In art, I was drawing this pin up doll kind of girl. This girl, who is notorous for drawing naked chicks and boobs on things came up and said she liked it.

"Thanks," I said, "its kind of like the stuff you like."

The second that shit came out of my mouth 0________0 I felt like shooting myself.

"What is that suposed to mean?"
I stared at the ground. "Well... you draw naked girls alot."
"No I don't."

Which was lol because she was holding a giant canvas with a burlesque dancer and on her table was a painting of female body parts something or other.

"Well, all the stuff you do in this class is like, a bunch of boobs and stuff."

Shit. I am retarded.

She looks at me quizzically and I dig myself yet another hole. "Sorry, it was a joke and it came out all wrong."

I am seriously the biggest douchebag at ww. Fuck.

As if THAT wasn't bad enough, just minutes later I accidently get acrylic paint on my best friend's jacket. I felt soooo fucking bad. I tried to clean it but you know acrylic paint. It's pretty much permanent. She got so pissed and didn't even look at me for the rest of the block. Ugh.

I'm fucking stupppppppid. aldjfglkajdfklgajdlkfjgaklfdjg akdjfglkadjf ag Everything I do is so dumb and gay. Why do I even exist?

OH AND IF THAT WASNT BAD ENOUGH. Today during prayer meeting I accidently knocked down this guys drink and it got all over his seat. This is a guy I barely know. adfgjkadfgkajdfkl

adfkjgkldfjaglkdjfjgk

adkfjglkadfjgkaljfgkladjfglkajdfag

I need to learn to keep my mouth shut and just... fuck. Not show up at school? Yeah that'd be awesome. This is just one of those days where I wonder why God created me in the first place. Anyway, one of my favorite phrases from these videos I used to keep up with online is "Chris is the asshole of the day". It's when he says something dumb or douchey and his toy horse says that.

Well that's exactly how I feel.

My name is Katie and I am the asshole of the day.

things i think about at least once every day

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 05:19:38 GMT

Why dosen't anyone like me? I don't think I can wait until college/working to find my soul mate. I wish I could have a boyfriend. I don't get it. I'm not completely disgusting (I hope), what is unattractive about me? This is probably my most thought-thought.

I want to attend the 2016 Olympics. I really really really really want to go to Rio de Janeiro. Usually this leads me to search for tickets online and look up photos of Brazil. I've done this about seven times this semester.

Dude I have so many movies I need to see! This is what summer break is for. But for some reason, I'm ALWAYS thinking about movies.

In less than one year I will be somewhere completely different. This thought makes me smile. But where?

Fuck yeah, Tucson in x number of days! Winter break in x number of months! Graduation is in x number of months!

Lawl thats a biblical allusion! Weirdly enough, I am always counting for these and noticing these. Or things people say that are quoting specific bible verses (without meaning to, but they just say words in the same order). Or maybe I'll realize it in a book or something. But I'm always seeing pieces of scripture everywhere.

Wow, did that just come out of my mouth?

Disneyworld. FTW. I usually ask for a bathroom pass from class and log onto my flickr to look at pictures I took this summer. Seriously good times with my family.

My sisters are so cool compared to me. I wonder what they're doing right now. Ironically, I think about this alot. Sadly, they talk to me less and less every day.

352/365

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 04:05:00 GMT

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 19:42:02 GMT

I'm going to LSU next weeeeeeeeeekend!! Hot black guys here I come! Just kidding. I'm just really excited to spend a weekend with my dad and visiting somewhere new. I will be skipping friday of school and that's the part I'm most excited about. Just kidding. I honestly see myself here in a few years so hopefully the tour will not dissapoint. But if it does, at least I will know beforehand. Anyway, I'm just so pumped.

I bought pumpkins! I plan on carving them tonight with my sisters. Pictures will come, of course.

I got Taylor Swift tickets! I know the concert is in March but I have already been listening to her CD's nonstop. I plan on getting cowboy boots with Sherry so I will have something awesome to wear to the concert.

At Party City I got my first BLARGHGHGAHFGHAGsfdjhgakjf. Usually I'm really nice and smiley to everyone. In fact, other workers are always making fun of me cause I'm too nice and never just sitting in the back and chilling. If you know what kind of person I am, you know I'm not lying about this. Anyway, when this one middle-aged lady got into my line I smiled and was like, "hey how are you!".

Usually when people don't respond, I don't really care. She didn't say anything so I just started scanning her items. She got two Ariel wigs (Ariel as in the disney mermaid). Then she said, "which one should I get?"

I looked at them both. They were essentially the same item, one was in a bag, one was in a box. Both the same size and same pictures. "Well.... I'll scan them to see if they are different prices." I scanned them both and the same.

Then kept on staring at them. Then she pointed to the one on the right. "I don't want this one."

"Okay." I picked it up and threw it in the returns cart.

"No. I SAID i WANTED that one."

"Oh! I'm so sorry I thought you said you didn't want that one." I put it back on the table and grab the other one and throw it in the basket (basically I swapped them out). I started scanning the wig.

"Let me see the other one again."

"Um... okay." By then I'm thoroughly pissed. I take about five seconds walking to the cart, rolling my eyes. "Here you go." I bend down and grab my Sprite and start drinking it.

"Hmmm.... this one is a brighter red." I kept on drinking... waiting for her stupid decision. "HELLO?" She spats at me.

UH, WHAT? I WASNT AWARE YOU WANTED MY FUCKING OPINION. I look at her. "I think they're the same."

"No, this one is OVBIOUSLY brighter."

It wasn't. They're th same fucking red wigs in different packages you dumbtard.

"Oh, yeah. You should get that one." By then the line was about five people long. The woman behind me was giving me a "aww, that sucks" smile.

I gave her her recipet to sign. By then I had moved on to the next customer. I greeted them in a big smile because I was just SO relieved dealing with this bitch was over. "Hello! Oh my gosh I love your necklace!" I told her.

This stupid Ariel fucking wig lady stares at me. She was about two feet from the new customer. "Here's the reciept." She said. Like I fucking cared. Most customers just leave it on the counter and go. But not this lady. "HERE YOU GO."

"Thanks." I mutter.

And then this stupid lady THROWS it on the counter. Thanks.

Okay, you know what happens next? She starts walking to the back of the store. She found another worker (who happens to be my best friend at Party City) and tells her, "the asian cashier has bad customer service. I have never been treated so horribly in my life."

Lauren (my friend) told her she'd tell the manager. But of course, she's my best friend. So she told me exactly what she said (and not the manager). I was sooooo pissed. First of all, she was the fucking bitch. I didn't do anything. Well maybe I rolled my eyes and ignored her but she fucking deserved it. I was overly nice to the person behind her so she probably saw that and started crying. Or something. Fuck. She was just retarded. But I'm mainly pissed because I have NEVER EVER been mean to anyone, ever. Everyone says I'm OVERLY nice. So the fact that something so opposite of what I really am can be said about me... just makes me really mad!

Anyway, for some reason, after the lady went to the parking lot she RETURNED to find Lauren again. Apparently I was with a guy customer being friendly, and she told Lauren, "oh, and she flirts wayyy to much. Tell that to the manager."

Which is lol cause I haven't flirted with anyone. Ever. I don't know wether to be angry or think this whole situation is hilarious. Or to feel sorry for her kids.

351/365

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 04:02:00 GMT

Had a really crappy day. I am failing two classes and I just have been feeling really really lonely.

But retail therapy is good! Went shopping at the Domain all by myself. I spent alot of my halloween money earned from Party City. It felt good, though, spending money on stuff you love with money you made with hard work.

350/365

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 03:58:00 GMT

I finally got to hang out with Janie today. I love love love love love her. I admire everything about her, from her fashion, to her additude about everything, to her personality, to her love for God. If I'm half the person she is right now at her age, I'd be set.

Oh and she introduced me to Mighty Cone today :) I also got to taste tons of different "trailer food" in a trailer food park. It was super fun! Too bad I don't have any pics of her... :(